Kalapu "Fie-feohi-moe-'Eiki" 'o Polata'ane

01/24/08 , by Posted by: admin

I am intrigued by the Tongan economy and its reliance on foreign remittances – money sent back to Tonga by Tongans living abroad. Migration and cultural integration are very complex and layered subjects, but I am fascinated by just the obvious - how Tongans overseas can survive and also manage to find extra resources to provide for their relatives and friends in Tonga.

There has been a lot of anthropological research by many Pacific scholars in this area, but I hope to get around and find out firsthand some of the small stories behind Tongans and Tongan communities abroad. It is my hope that by telling these stories, it might inspire and remind us of the real challenges and the common struggle we face.

Fie-feohi-moe-‘Eiki Club

In late 2004 we were based in London, a friend was passing through and wanted to meet some of the Tongan rugby players in the UK. On that particular weekend, the Tongans in Wales (and the near by counties) were meeting for a Tongan church service. I thought this could be a great opportunity to catch some of the rugby players, so off we went on a four hour drive to Pontypool, Wales.

Apparently when we sat around that week-end laughing and doing our usual Tongan men kava-chatting thing after the service, it ignited the idea to create the Fie-feohi-moe-‘Eiki Club, which now, nearly four years later meets monthly in one of the boys homes. I caught up with Katilimoni Tu’ipulotu – the current President of the club.

Background

While England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland are not particularly vast in size, there was considerable distance between the few Tongan families spread across Great Britain. Since the late 1990’s, the number of Tongans in the UK has surged. The growing population has created community gatherings and crucial social and cultural networks. 

The rise in population is mainly due to the influx of Tongan rugby players after Rugby Union turned professional in 1995. By the late 90’s rugby clubs in Europe and particularly Britain began to use their financial might to entice foreign players, and have recruited across the rugby union globe - as far as the South Seas. 

Many of the Tongan players find themselves in Wales – the part of Britain which refers to rugby union as its national sport. Of course as Tongans we love getting together for any reason - to chat, have a laugh, sing a few songs, share food and just hang out. As the number of players increased and as their families grew, the gatherings swelled in number.  But what happens in these increasingly frequent social gatherings?

“We used to just congregate at any of the guy’s house and do the usual Tongan thing, you know! – our partners make food and have girly chat, us boys have our men circle and do our manly chat, and those who wants to have a drink can open a few cans of beer and enjoy themselves”, explains Katilimoni Tu’ipulotu one of the ‘older guys’, and the current president of the Fie-feohi-moe-‘Eiki Club.

A Better Reason to Hang Out

Katilimoni was one of the first arrivals of Tongan rugby players in the UK once Rugby Union turned professional. There were others migrating with their families including Fe’ao Vunipola, Kuli Faletau, Siua Taumalolo, to name but a few. These are well-known rugby names in Tonga.

Katilimoni goes on to explain that their meetings involve “singing hymns and prayers, because as Tongans, we kind of feel it is part of the things you do when we are together. It gives us a sense of our cultural identity”. As the meetings became regular the boys discussed the possibility of having formal church activities which are now a part of the club’s active calendar. “We agreed to mark it as an official group and gathering because we wanted everyone to make a commitment, and so Rev Dr Tevita Havea - when he was still in UK at the time- kind of formally blessed our gathering to mark it as the start. We decided on Tevita Tiueti as the Steward to start with”.

The group’s members committed themselves to congregate first as a Christian body – and in conjunction with the church body - a men’s social club was created.  “From those meetings, us boys started discussing the idea of having a men’s club, and so the Fie-feohi-moe-‘Eiki Club developed”, says Katilimoni.

Just another Social Club?

Katilimoni explains that the club is seen to be a good alternative to the “ferocious social environment of a fast paced culture. It’s like any other Tongan men’s club where we have a kava bowl, and the guys who still prefer other types of beverage are more than welcome. The singing, of course, has been always an attraction”.

Taunaholo Taufahema, became the first president, and then Manukafoa Tu’ipulotu took over when Taunaholo move back with his family to New Zealand. Now Katilimoni Tu’ipulotu holds the club’s leadership role.

The majority of the club’s members are rugby players.  Because of the nature of the job, they find themselves constantly moving and relocating. Regardless of the frequent change and distance the men have pressed on with their meetings and fellowship because they know it is a constant in what can be at times, a very unsettling lifestyle. Katilimoni believes that it is vital for the club to grow and for the boys to want to stay together despite the geographical challenge.

So eventually the ‘more matured’ guys agreed to introduce a time for discussing Bible passages. “Fe’ao Vunipola, Kuli Faletau, Manukafoa Tu’ipulotu and I see it as a very good intentional move. I think it contributes massively to our growth”. Although I agree, I wanted Katilimoni to explain a bit more about the point he just made - discussing Bible passages, which they refer to as “Pakipaki” (derived from the biblical idea of ‘breaking bread’); how does that help with the club’s growth? And why would I want to drive many miles just for that.

Conversation for Everyone

Kati started by drawing from his personal experiences, and how he feels about his own faith journey when trying to explain the “Pakipaki”. “Firstly, it is nice for our partners to know where we are. As you well know, social nights are a massive part of our jobs as rugby players. And we need it for various reasons”.

“While those seemed to be good enough reasons, we also recognised that sitting around chatting about the same thing all the time can be boring, and most of the time it leaves us feeling empty - and to be honest, some of the small talk started to cause frictions amongst us”.

“At the start, I would go home after those social nights with the boys feeling like nothing was gained. Most of the guys admit to the same sort of feeling too. We needed to make an intentional decision to look for ways that focus our conversation on what can help us, and more so help our rugby”.

So perhaps talking about something neutral would be ideal then. What about history, culture, or the latest news headlines? - the list could go on. Kati agrees but went on to say that there is no restriction on what the group discusses, although everyone is aware that the main part of the night is “reading the chosen Bible passages – a job Fe’ao normally organises – and then everyone throws in what they think about the passage. That focuses our conversation, and keeps us away from talking about dumb stuff”.

Real Growth?

Kati emphasizes that growth will come for each member individually and hopefully the group is prodding people along - “We listen to each other, and value everyone’s input, but I personally see that when we come with a willing but humble heart to listen to Jesus, we can all take something home afterward because we believe in a God who meet us half-way. We believe in a God who sees our shortcomings and reaches out”.

Fe’ao Vunipola’s wife ‘Iesinga Vunipola is an ordained minister in the UK Methodist Church but amongst the men themselves no one has any formal ministry or theological training.  The men should be applauded for their desire to search and find God through His word but I also think it is important for proper exposition of the Bible in such environment because it is much more enriching when the Bible is explained in its context. It also guards people from dangerous doctrine and spiritualising things that should not be spiritualised.

Other things the club does?

There have been occasions where some of the players needed help and this is the time perhaps when the guys who are ‘members’ try to live out their “Pakipaki” sessions. “The boys, knowing someone is returning home, or member of immediate family past away, or someone may be in need financially, or otherwise. This is when we, as a group, try to do something to help. Most of the time we make financial donations”, continues Katilimoni.

 While the boy’s generosity is humbling I am slightly weary about the men habitually making financial contributions. I know firsthand how challenging it can be to adapt to the financial demands of living in a Western culture as a rugby player.  The strong perception amongst Tongan community members is that you have a surplus of financial resources.  Comparatively speaking that might be true but sometimes people do not realise commitments to such groups can encourage them to live outside their means. . When living in demanding financial cultures, it is important to recognise and adapt to prevailing financial priorities.

Katilimoni whispered he once made the exact point (when they were talking about putting money together for one of the activities), but he thinks it is a cultural stronghold that can only be overcome by one’s personal faith journey. “I think it’s important we grow in our individual faith. As we grow in our Christian faith I hope that help guide us with the way we are to live in this country”. I hope so too! Although it can provide for a decent lifestyle, it has too short earning period. One can only play rugby for an average of 10 – 12 years these days. After that, there is a lot of life left to live and I know some very close friends who have finished playing professional rugby and struggle to adjust to a new lifestyle.

“We also try and encourage our kids to learn cultural activities, which we usually run in a Sunday-school type arrangement. We try and celebrate the important days in the Tonga church calendar, such as the Faka-Me (Children Sunday’s), Faka-Sepitema (Women’s Calling Sunday), Pekia (Easter), and others. It gives us and our children an opportunity to keep in touch with our Tongan identity. Sometimes we run our activities in conjunction with our church services, which I think is helpful”.

And for the Future

“For the future, it is difficult because the biggest challenge we face is the geography – some of the guys are miles away from each other which means, getting together once a month is a massive task already”.

“I think it is important we get better and more efficient at what we are doing now which is providing a good social environment for the players first and foremost. An environment where we  are not only able to enjoy a social time together but also an environment where we can encourage and help each other, especially spiritually. And if other things develop from there, like helping someone to find a job, or help provide little cultural performances for our kid’s schools, or make financial donations for something or someone, then that’s a bonus”.

The Challenges

After talking to Katilimoni about the organisation, I have mixed feelings. I am a rugby player who is stumbling along trying to follow Jesus too, so I fully understand the challenges these guys are facing. There is no set instruction manual on how to be a Christian in another culture, or in professional sports.   

These types of groups provide a very necessary support system but I also think they can hinder and may discourage exploration of what other cultures have to offer. By keeping to themselves, I cannot help but feel these guys may miss out on opportunities to integrate into the local culture and discover what that particular culture has to offer.

What about the children? The children are learning valuable lessons about their heritage and hopefully their cultural education will be fostered in a way that allows them to embrace being Tongan but also avoid feeling suffocated by it. There is the old phrase – as soon as we think we know all the answers they change the questions. We should remember the world keeps changing and so too the questions the world asks of us and our children. Every culture has its own treasures, so may be finding the balance to make the most of both would be great for the Fie-feohi-moe-‘Eiki members.

To sum it all up

I believe the idea of searching the Bible for answers. Answers for whatever you are looking for. I like what one of my favourite theologian Dr N.T. Wright (Bishop of Durham, UK) said –

“Scripture contains many things that I don’t know, and that you don’t know; many things we are waiting to discover; passages which are lying dormant waiting for us to dig them out.  Awaken them.  We must then make sure that the church, armed in this way, is challenging the world’s view of authority.  So that, we must determine - corporately as well as individually - to become in a true sense, people of the book … people of the book in the Christian sense; people who are being remade, judged and remoulded by the Spirit through scripture”.

Off-course we live in a challenging world, but giving time to search the Bible in our own ways make the journey, I believe, a lot easier. These guys find strength in meeting for their Pakipaki – in their sharing of the Words together.

After saying what I think, I feel encouraged about the fact that if a Tongan rugby player finds himself in the UK, he can always go to the guy’s “Pakipaki” if he needs some kind of spiritual encouragement. That is a very important responsibility and a much needed help for rugby players – pastoral-care (even if I personally feel I do not come home with much after sitting in one of the Pakipaki).

That is what I like about the Fie-feohi-moe-‘Eiki Club. Although I have doubts about the length and the contents of some of the Pakipaki sessions, there is one thing I cannot argue with. As Katilimoni puts it – The Scripture is God-breathed and however little we know about it, we understand God reaches out when He sees willing heart coming to him!

These guys are willing to come together and immerse themselves in talking about the Word of God. Good theology or not, I left feeling God is surely in their midst.

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• June 22, 2010, 3:00 am - Sione Masa

  Why you don't never update dis site???